Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (+ Parenting Strategies)
Here are some suggestions for parents to understand and provide helpful supportive to help fight back the “bully in the brain”.
To review my other “Parenting” tips, be sure to check out my original post on the topic.
Understanding OCD from your child’s perspective.
Obsessive thoughts are like the flashy advertising billboard on the side of the highway vying for the driver’s attention, which should be on the task at hand - driving.
Obsessive thoughts can be:
Distressful
Irrelevant and defy logic
Bizarre, making the person fear that they are going crazy
Unrelated to the opinions of the person experiencing them
Distracting from daily activities, and taking up a lot of time
Persistent obsessive thoughts, ideas, or images can contain disturbing content that could be aggressive, sexual, or religious in nature, making it embarrassing for the person to disclose and get help, because of a fear of being judged.
Compulsions and repetitive behaviours, in response to obsessions, are often carried out to prevent undesirable consequences from happening. Otherwise, the person becomes very anxious. Then… the cycle of OCD repeats itself again and again.
Hair-pulling, skin-picking, nail-biting, hoarding, or preoccupation with certain body parts may also be present.
Be aware of Possible Pitfalls
OCD is very seductive. Given our desire to ease our child’s distress, it is logical to try to calm our child’s worries, and attempt to reason with their fears. REMEMBER the thoughts are OCD-driven, and are not soothed by logic.
Accommodating rituals or compulsions (e.g. giving reassurance multiple times, moving contaminated objects, etc…) will only serve to reinforce the cycle.
Do not enable OCD by getting caught up in the obsessions that demand repetitive reassurance or actions.
Do not blame your child, or tell your child they can stop it if they try. This will only create more of a feeling of fear and helplessness.
Saying “not to worry” will make your child worry more.
Trying to apply reason to the excessive worry doesn’t work...
OCD doesn’t care!
… It is harnessing your child’s cognition for its own existence.
strategies
With teamwork, you and your child can fight back the the bully, which like all bullies when approached with force can eventually lose its grip.
Help your child to see the OCD as a separate entity, take back control, and show it who is really the boss.
Specific strategies can include the following, illustrated by using hand washing or repeating actions as examples:
do a modified form of the ritual, for example wash to the wrist not to the elbow, or wash for a shorter period of time using a timer, use less soap, repeat an action fewer times
delay the time before hand washing, or not wash every single time after touching every contaminated surface
schedule a restricted period of time in the day to do the ritual
avoid repeating a ritual, such as counting
do the opposite for example deliberately touch a contaminated surface
distract your child by suggesting an enjoyable activity, relaxation exercises, mindfulness to name a few
Regular practise is important. Over time, the strategies, which may be accompanied by other possible forms of treatment, can lead to better control over intensity and frequency of the OCD.
Acknowledge even the smallest improvements.
Don’t be discouraged by temporary setbacks, OCD may become more intense and defiant during times of stress, such as change or performances like exams. It doesn’t mean progress has been lost. Continue to practice.
Always stay focused on the goal. - What your child would prefer to be doing with their time rather than be controlled by rituals.
website
www.iocdf.org
apps
NOCD app
Mindshift app
books
Talking Back to OCD by Dr. John March
The ACT Workbook for Teens with OCD by Patricia Zurita
Getting Over OCD a 10 step workbook by Jonathan Abramowitz
Disclaimer: Although I am a registered MD, information on this web site is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for the advice provided by your physician or other healthcare professionals or any information contained on or in any product label or packaging. Please view this website’s “Disclaimer” for further details.