Oppositional Defiant Disorder (+ Parenting Strategies)
Understanding ODD
Children and adolescents with Oppositional Defiant Disorder:
are described as irritable, vindictive, and resentful
are easily annoyed by others
have a tendency to also annoy others
will argue with anyone - kids and adults alike - whether they are at home or at school
often refuse to follow any rules or requests they don’t agree with
are likely to blame others for their mistakes
have difficulty learning from experience.
Negotiating or resolving conflict creates major difficulties for them and others around them as they have a problem interpreting a tone of speech or facial expression. They often experience it as hostile or threatening even when this is not the case.
They are also less likely to know how to use their words and therefore can resort to aggressive speech and responses.
This can further lead to them being rejected or alienated by others, which ironically proves to them the world is hostile.
Identifying Triggers
Over time, you may be able to identify typical scenarios or warning signs of escalating behavior which may lead your child to have an outburst.
When your child has gotten upset, it is important to observe what was happening at that the time. What are possible triggers? How did your child interpret the situation? What were your child’s complaints about others in the situation?
Strategies
Have clear rules and expectations within the home. It is important to have consistent parenting and regular communication between caregivers.
Avoid direct confrontation. Don’t go on the defensive. Use a calm tone of voice voice and simple clear language.
Work out strategies and discipline with your child or adolescent ahead of time to deal with possible situations that may arise e.g. timeouts, removal of privileges for short periods of time. Know when to back off, and give time for the adolescent to cool down. Arrange as well for alone space and quiet time.
Acknowledge positive behavior, however small.
Help to label underlying feelings that may be expressed as aggression. Kids may not recognize being anxious or overwhelmed, and can benefit from learning positive self-talk and relaxation strategies.
Kids may not be able to recognize their own boredom, which may lead to annoying others. Help them to use other strategies such as regular physical movement and time with enjoyed activities.
Problem Solving and Negotiation
Misinterpreting situations is a big issue for these kid. Parents can help their kids work on learning how to correctly read the behavior of others, speech, words, and tone and intentions.
Role playing can also be useful.
What is the problem?
Ask what can we do about the problem.
Discuss possible consequences for different courses of action to deal with the problem.
Encourage trying alternative approaches.
Discuss how different approaches work out.
Be supportive of your child. Be a positive role model. You are helping your child interpret a world that often looks threatening to them.
To review my other “Parenting” tips, be sure to check out my original post on the topic.
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