Anxiety Disorders (+ Parenting Strategies)
Here are some suggestions for parents to understand and provide helpful supportive when dealing with the anxious thoughts that may occur with Anxiety Disorders as well as Depressive Disorders.
To review my other “Parenting” tips, be sure to check out my original post on the topic.
CONFRONTING COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS
Cognitive Distortions are some possible ways in which your child or teens’s mind may try to convince themselves of something that isn’t based in reality. Cognitive distortions can be a symptom of anxiety or mood disorders. Cognitive distortions may lead to negative feelings, thoughts or behaviours.
-identify the distortion (The “What”?)
-reframe the distortion (The “How”?)
Catastrophizing
What?
Assuming the worst outcome, blowing a situation out of proportion, and making it sound worse than it is
I failed my math test so I will never graduate from high school.
How?
What if things aren’t as bad as you thought?
There are many tests at school that I have already passed.
Spotlighting
What?
Assuming others are looking at you and know what you are thinking or how you are feeling
When I walk into class everyone is looking at me.
How?
They usually have more important things to think about
Some may look to see who came in and then quickly go back to what they were doing, often looking at their cell phones.
Labelling
What?
Making incorrect assumptions or judgements about yourself based on a particular event.
I am a failure because I made one mistake on a test.
How?
Where is the evidence that this is true in all situations?
I was able to answer most of the questions correctly.
Filtering out the Positives
What?
Focusing on the negative aspects of a situations while neglecting the positives, can also focus on positives of others and not of your own.
I messed up 1 question on the interview, so I won’t get the job
How?
How do the positives outweigh the negatives?
I answered many of the questions and that question was not an important one
Mind reading
What?
Jumping to a conclusion that you think you know what the other person is thinking
I don’t think that girl likes me because she didn’t say hi.
How?
It is possible that the other person’s comments, expression, or tone may have nothing to do with you
She may have not noticed me because she was worrying about her test next period.
Jumping to Conclusions
What?
To make irrational conclusions about a situation or other people
Those kids must be laughing at me.
How?
What if there is another explanation?
The group of kids may be laughing at a funny video on IG.
Personalization
What?
The tendency to assume blame for a situation that isn’t entirely your fault
My group got a bad mark on a group project it must have been all my fault.
How?
What else or who else could’ve played a part in this situation?
Everyone is responsible for participating in a group project.
Black-and-White Thinking
What?
To views things in the extremes, as all or nothing, or good or bad, without considering the grey area in between
The teacher didn’t look at me during class so he must hate me.
How?
What are other ways to interpret the situation?
The teacher wasn’t focusing on anyone in particular as he taught the class
Overgeneralization
What?
Making assumptions about all similar events based on the result of one event.
I wasn’t picked for the goalie position on the hockey team so I am no good at sports.
How?
What evidence is there that things may be different the next time?
There are many sports I have played well in the past and it depends on how many goalies come out for tryouts.
“Should” Statements
What?
Having unrealistic expectations about how you should’ve been, which makes it hard to live up to your expectations
I should have finished making that phone app.
How?
There may be different approaches to accomplish something
I realize I overestimated the time it takes to make a phone app.
Emotional Reasoning
What?
Interpreting a situation based on your emotional state at the time, even though it may colour your ability to see the situation accurately.
I am jealous of other girls and I think my boyfriend may be cheating on me.
How?
What evidence is there that the way I’m looking at a situation may be based on my emotions, rather than my rational thinking?
My boyfriend is with me because he likes me for who I am.
Magnification and Minimization
What?
To magnify the positive traits of others, while minimize your own positive traits.
I am not cool like the others guys because I am not as popular.
How?
Is there a different way of looking at or evaluating an award you got?
I don’t go out to parties every weekend because I like spending time on other activities that I am good at.
Fortune Telling
What?
Making a prediction or coming to a conclusion based on little evidence
I know I am not going to pass the history test.
How?
Just because you can’t do something now, doesn’t mean you never will be able to do it.
I have passed tests before and I have studied for the test.
COMPOSING EXPOSURE LADDERS which can be helpful for dealing with SOCIAL ANXIETY
Exposure ladders are strategies to help your child or teen deal with social anxiety, by gradually exposing them to anxiety provoking situations. They may find the situation so anxiety provoking, that they may tend to avoid the situation.
Exposure Ladders, can be commonly used strategies to help to gradually decrease symptoms of social anxiety disorder.
Social Anxiety Disorder Is one of the most common anxiety disorders and usually starts around the time of puberty. The teen may become afraid of being judged by others or of doing something embarrassing in front of other people. This type of anxiety may lead to avoidance and make it very difficult for the teen to participate in class discussions or to do presentations in front of the class. In the community, it may result in being too anxious to order food or buy items in a store. It can result in causing major disruptions in socializing with others as well as completing expected academic tasks, or extracurricular activities.
Method of Exposure Ladders:
Start by identifying social situations or anxiety provoking situations and rank them according to the level of anxiety that is associated with them. Rank from the least anxiety provoking situation at the bottom rung of the ladder to the most anxiety provoking situation at the top rung of the ladder.
It is important to repeat the initial exposure from the bottom rung of the ladder, a few times each day, until the panic associated with the event decreases. Initial exposure may cause even more anxiety but over many repetitions, the anxiety will gradually decrease. The exposure can also be married together with relaxation techniques, such as breathing techniques or mindfulness.
Each rung of the ladder is then approached the same way, until the activity or exposure becomes easier to perform and is associated with a significant decrease in anxiety.
